How to cope with divorce as a man
Coping tips and methods for recovering from any stressful situation can be diverse. A divorce can be very difficult, especially when significant mental, emotional and financial effort has been invested in that relationship. Inversely, effort should be invested in recovering from a separation.
Reacting to initial changes will be the first barrier you need to face. Postponing any divorce related issues will only extend the grief period. Document your agreements and start to clearly separate financial and non-financial assets.
Unsurprisingly, a man’s sense of identity is built off his partner, children and work. This personal identity can quickly erode following a divorce. But life does not end simply because your marriage did. You can still be a happy human being and find joy and value in other pursuits.
In coping, people give themselves time to deal with the situation and continue with the things they enjoy. Be patient with yourself and reconnect with personal interests and passions. Taking time to develop your hobbies during this transition period is one of the best things you can do. Find a healthy emotional outlet that works for you. This could be anything from playing the guitar or collecting stamps and may even require joining an interesting social group.
In Australia, men are stereotyped to push on and spend little emotional recovery time. Create a support system for yourself, whether that be via a close friend or relative. Someone you can trust and confide in. Seeking help early is important. People will be sympathetic and aware of your needs. Generally speaking, women tend to have a wider social circle. Social groups established via your partner can quickly dissipate. Opening up to people and doing so regularly will reduce your likelihood of depression. It diminishes the chance for thoughts and feelings to bottle up. This will also deepen and maintain your important social networks.
Currently, much better resources and services are available for men facing divorce and any related stress. Access these resources when you need to. Men tend to detach themselves from their feelings as much as possible rather than sharing.
To help smooth your transition, get counselling and talk to someone. A professional councillor can help you identify important patterns that further the unhealthy cycle. A huge stigma can be associated with divorce. But many also view divorce as a means to a happier life. Try to see the positives and look at your circumstances with the perspective to start fresh again.
If you haven’t done so already, start planning ahead looking at future arrangements. When you have a clear sense of your direction, it will be easier for everything else to naturally flow. During this task, take time to reflect and learn from your mistakes.
Eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. Maintaining a normal schedule with regular sleep patterns will greatly assist you. Of course, substance abuse and negative or suicidal feelings must also be carefully managed. Studies show that men are more likely to express grief through actions rather than words. Avoiding any unhealthy coping mechanisms cannot be overstressed. Because any negative habits can result in more problems and a perpetual downwards spiral. Heavy depression and suicide are not uncommon outcomes when the situation escalates. Systematically resolving each of your feelings will eliminate old feelings resurfacing.
If any children are involved, preserve family culture as much as possible to smoothen the transition. Start to think about your kids needs too and involve them. Give them their own personal private space. But also give them kind love and affection. Outwards service to others can be wonderfully soothing.
After a divorce, men can often find a new partner very quickly after marriage. A rebound relationship does not make a healthy relationship. Take time before quickly jumping into a new relationship. Use your previous experiences to avoid repeating the same mistakes or finding another incompatible partner.
Another post-divorce challenge for men involves their domestic survival skills. Let’s face it, most men aren’t as good at doing domestic household chores. Just as development in hobbies and interests is worthwhile, so too is self-actualisation – the fulfilment and development of your talents and abilities. Many men have difficulty performing many domestic duties, like cooking. With the vast repository of the internet, find videos or simple how to guides to learn new skills. You will find a sense of personal satisfaction instilled within yourself.