Dealing with a painful marriage separation (Divorce)

When a marriage comes to an end via divorce, it’s a time of uncertainty, stress and anxiety for both parties. Regardless of the circumstances that led both of you to make this decision, you now need to deal with the reality of the situation and find the best path forward.

It’s essential that you engage a family lawyer so that they can help guide you through the legal complexities of the divorce process and help you in areas of property settlement, child custody + more. At O’Sullivan Legal, we are highly experienced with all types of family law matters and you should consider getting in touch with us if you’re going through a painful marriage separation.

The following are some general tips for making your marital separation less painful for both yourself, your ex-partner and any children you have.

Don’t give into petty anger

The main reason divorce proceedings are stereotypically seen as acrimonious and bitter wars between former lovers is because that’s exactly how a lot of cases turn out. Most of the time these lengthy, costly and emotionally draining separations could have been negotiated and dealt with in a much shorter amount of time if both parties had approached the situation with a clam mindset.

If your ex had an affair or did something else to betray you, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t feel like showing them any respect and may even want to lash out verbally if you see them. For the purposes of getting through the divorce as quickly and painlessly as possible (and to protect the best interests of any children you have), it’s best to simply swallow your pride and seek out a fair compromise rather than vindictively seek to punish your ex.

Divorce proceedings become very ugly when both parties seem to aggressively hate one another and seek to exhaust every possible legal measure to undermine the other’s happiness. An example of this can be seen in infamous cases of mothers fabricating stories of child abuse to thwart their ex-husband’s chances of gaining child custody.
There are also equally as many cases of fathers attempting to turn children against their mothers in order to get an advantage in child custody proceedings. In truth, the court system is very wise to this kind of behaviour and will harshly condemn any parents caught doing it.

Cases of spousal and or child abuse are incredibly serious and should never be fabricated as a legal tactic since it’s both unethical and more likely to work against you. While children can often be the most emotional aspect of dealing with a marriage separation, you should not let this cause you to engage in desperate and dishonest tactics.

Know who’s in your support network

When dealing with a painful marriage separation, its important that you don’t go though it alone. When separating from someone who has been your main romantic partner for several years, it can be difficult because you had traditionally relied on them as your main emotional support – so you need to think about who else in your life you can trust to speak to.

If you have a good family lawyer, they should also act as a sympathetic ally during this difficult period. At O’Sullivan, we listen to you and help you identify a practical path forward that gives you and any children you have the best future possible.

Above all, stay connected with other people and avoid isolating yourself. While this period is initially very difficult for anyone, with the right support network and a competent family lawyer you can actually deal with your divorce without much emotional pain.

Listen to your lawyer

The fastest way to get through a painful marriage separation is to hire a talented family lawyer and listen to their counsel. They will be able to organise and conduct dispute resolution on your behalf, negotiating a mutually agreeable compromise between you and your ex-spouse.

Ultimately, the emotional torture of your divorce is only going to end once the uncertainty is dealt with. When you engage a family lawyer, correspond maturely with your ex-spouse and put the best interests of any children first, the ordeal that is divorce can be over much quicker.